Ain't It Funny

I am so far beyond offended. That I would actually be taken for a fool. But of course, you would be the one to underestimate me. You would be the on to assume that everything about you could offer would make me fall to my knees and beg for it. You'd just have to dangle it in front of me and I'd bit, the bait would bite, wouldn't it. You've forgotten who you're dealing with.

But Ain't It Funny how the tables turned eventually.

Phoenix

I've lived in the embers of what once was my heart for so long. I promised... No, I vowed to rid myself of my perception. My trusting nature nurtured my own demise. I sentenced myself to a life behind walls, guards; an armory at my beck-and-call to stun away any and all intruders. That's what you taught me to see any approaching figure as: an enemy. You approached me in the same way. You promised me happiness and laughter. You assured me that it wasn't going to be easy but you'd try. But you lied! You were dripping gasoline all around me. You distracted me with your eyes... your lips... your touch... You knew my weaknesses. You knew you were my kryptonite. But you walked away when I needed you the most, casually tossed a match behind, and left me for dead. You lit the fire that consumed me.

Had I been on the lookout, you wouldn't have gotten the chance.

But I am through with not allowing the world a glimpse of me. Not because that's the way I wish it to be but because this desheveled self, only a fraction of what I once was, is laying in her own ashes and cannot seem to find a way out.

But I tell you, tonight, I find the courage to rise up out of my ashes like a phoenix. I've surged my pain with my will and produced enlightenment, empowerment, invincibility.

I promised myself I'd rise someday...

that day has come.

Love

What is love? Have you ever really sat down and thought about what love is? It's hard to come up with an answer because it's such an intangible feeling but at the same time, many people say they feel it... And there are different kinds of love... The two that I have in mind, particularly, are love in a romantic sense and love in a spiritual sense. I have it proven that you cannot fully experience or even begin to understand the power of love in a romantic sense, if you do not have love in a spiritual sense. I'm a Seventh-Day Adventist and I've been baptized for a while now. When I was younger, I thought I fully understood (or at least had a basic grasp of) the love that God has for us. I knew that He sacrificed himself for our salvation. I knew that He would come back for us someday, even though we may not deserve it at all. I got that. But I wasn't connecting in a deep spiritual level with that love. Because you see, God is Love. They're one in the same. God is Love. Can you even begin to imagine that? That's why he can love us all individually and love us all the same, at the same time. He is the God of Love. The God of all the Love in the world. And once you understand that (as much as our earthly minds can) and once we connect the Love, then we can appreciate Love and enjoy and live it to an immense extent. Then we can begin to really experience what Love is in a romance. I'm in a relationship right now and I'm enjoying it, because I have connected with the God of Love and now I can begin to see the way it grows in my relationship. I can appreciate the way it lives in my relationship. I can see that this love, is just the beginning. I can see that this love is new and that there's so much more to go and so much more waiting for us, for me and my boyfriend. We cannot grow in our love without having the connection with the God of Love. it's just not possible. It's not at possible to do so. We see that. Do you?